Scattered, the many pieces of body and mind thought and action. First shattered, then collected up and reassembled. Fractured again, put back together with glue and bloody minded persistence. Hope, optimism and longing agents of determination acting against annihilation care-taking as best they can. Each new devastation recalling the origin. A weakness in the whole sustained in the earliest of wounds. Left asking “What am I now but an amalgamation of parts?” broken and mended
Never give up - you taught me that; about how truth is scarier than fiction. When I was optimistic you taught me caution, in giving my trust you taught me about loss. For these gruesome lessons I will try to thank you, for by taking them to heart I might know refrain.
Quaking and vibrating in this body, mine giving myself permission, and if I just had words to capture it; if words were my only tool. And if it wasn’t you, it was love the earth that shook and the shattering cry we couldn’t bear to hear; fearing hard. “They say - love takes you through hell” I heard someone sing. I’m on the other side now missing you profoundly noticing your absence quietly in moments spent without. And I wonder about your life; father, son and boy from